Days 16-20: Auckland and Christchurch
It's been really hard to describe New Zealand. I find myself liking it one minute, disliking it the next.
In one word?
Lush.
Wait,
overripe.
No,
diseased.
You see what I mean.
For the last two days (spent in Christchurch) I think
wet will suffice. It's been quite cold and constantly raining in the "Garden City", with the result that I've been doing a lot of reading. More on that later.
New Zealand is absurdly beautiful, with rolling meadows, fresh sea breezes, and all manner of flora and fauna. But Auckland? Looks like Dallas--same vacant shops downtown, same traffic jams, same overpasses, same single-story strip malls with huge parking lots. And a tremendous amount of graffiti. Not good graffiti, just monochrome aesthetically unpleasant graffiti.
It's not all bad--Auckland has great parks, two natural harbours, countless beaches, and so much urban sprawl it's painful to think about (see, the ambivalence again). It's as if the city planners looked at Los Angeles, said "two-hour commutes? Sounds good!" and zoned with that in mind. Only it's even worse, since New Zealand's population (currently a mere 4.1 million, with 1.3 of that in Auckland) continues to grow (also more on that later). There's no way they can keep this up--the surrounding farmland will continue to be turned into suburbs, and the puny two-lane roads and ridiculous roundabouts cannot possibly handle the ever-increasing traffic. For the love of god, put in light rail now before it's too late.
The stuff you see in Lord of the Rings? It's there--stunning mountain ranges, gorgeous valleys unspoilt by man, lovingly constructed hobbit holes, yadda yadda. But for all the natural beauty, there's plenty of litter. You don't get the feeling that the locals appreciate what they have. Quite possibly it's the tourists doing it, I can't say for sure. But there doesn't seem to be a strong sense of social responsibility or communal respect. There really is a lot of cigarette butts, beer bottles, and miscellaneous trash--okay, I haven't seen children urinating in supermarkets, so, er, count one for the Kiwis.
Here's another example. I'm staying at a nice hotel in Christchurch, which is good since I may have mentioned it's pouring outside? This is a hotel aimed more at long-term guests (imagine a really fancy Residence Inn). Nicely decorated common areas for dining, reading, internet access, cooking, movie rooms, all that. I'm in one of the common rooms after doing laundry, and I notice that there's a leak and this lovely new sofa's getting soaked (and since this was the 4th floor of a 5-story building, I can't imagine the water damage upstairs). Well, I let the duty manager know, he says thanks, and nothing happens. I sit there for 15 minutes and nobody comes up, the leak needless to say continues, and this very nice sofa indeed gets more and more wet. It's a really nice sofa--if it were my sofa, it'd be the nicest sofa I've owned BY FAR, which may not be saying that much (
1). I've moved the cushions out of the way, but I can't be bothered to move the entire sofa (and scratch up the tile floor). The whole episode is starting to cause me psychic distress at the sheer irresponsibility of the whole affair (a bucket would be fine! Not asking you to go up and patch the bloody leak, just a #!$#$@ bucket). I give up and walk over to the reading room.
Another sofa is steadily being destroyed there.
I retreat downstairs.
This is what New Zealand is like. A beautiful sofa ruined by neglect and incompetence. (Yes, that's the best analogy I can come up with after 4 days. The others involved fruit). People think Hawaii is commercialized and touristy, but at least they try to preserve the illusion of paradise. I can't say that about New Zealand--it seems completely apathetic. Goodbye Lord of the Rings, hello Orange County.
(1) Waco. The Beast(tm).
--
Change of subject. Any of you who have some free time and have access to a good English language bookstore should check out
the Bartimaeus Trilogy, by Jonathan Stroud. It's marketed at children, but I can confidently say that adults will enjoy it thoroughly. I should also mention that the trilogy is finished--for some reason the 3rd book isn't displayed on the website, but I hold a copy of the final book in my grubby little hands.
It's not fair to compare this series of books to Harry Potter, since it's better written, better edited, and would make for better movies. That said, Stroud owes a debt to J.K. Rowling, since without Harry Potter it's unlikely that these novels would have been published. I enjoyed the last Potter book, but I like Stroud's work even more
(2). Check it out if you get a chance.
Next time: Politics!
(2) Stroud is also to be commended for his devotion to footnotes. With a blog, I know my footnotes suck. Sorry.
Day 15: Somewhere over the Pacific
Maybe the red-eye was a mistake. It's 02:30 Auckland time right now, and I arrive in a little over 5 hours. But it's only 22:30 Tokyo time and I'm having difficulty sleeping. Or at least staying asleep. This is unfortunate, since the very nice JAL staff who handle ground services for Air New Zealand boggled at my itinerary, even calling people over to take a look at it*, and were kind enough to give me my own row of 3 seats. The only other time I've experienced such luxury in economy was during the SARS epidemic, when Sam Liu and I caught a flight back from SFO to PVG, and I had 4 seats of my own. On that flight--well, on a 747-400, the very first call was for "General Boarding--all rows". Clearly I need to schedule more travel to pseudo-dangerous areas; perhaps there are cheap flights from Singapore to Paris?
*That's been a pretty standard response to the Circle Asia airfare. The ticketing agent who issued it said it was only the second one she'd done since she'd been with SIA, and ground crew and immigration officials alike usually have some pleasant comments. I'm just glad these people haven't seen Twelve Monkeys.
In any event, the "bottom half" of my itinerary, centered around Southeast Asia, is still mostly open. After Cambodia, I'm leaning towards Kota Kinabalu and then Mulu National Park, but am open to other options. In particular, I'm thinking about cutting short my stay in Thailand--I have little interest in Bangkok and after Angkor, not that much in Chiang Mai. If you folks have suggestions, shoot me a line or leave a comment. Still contemplating the Philippines, where wikitravel sez the two main problems are "guns and crime". I think that may cross the line from "pseudo-dangerous" to "actually dangerous."
I promised you a report card on Japan, and here it is. It's unrealistic and unfair--you could easily spend 9 days in any town and still only scratch the surface, while we spent only a few hours in some of these places, but here goes:
Kyoto: A. Far too much to see and do. I hear rooms are expensive--I wouldn't know due to the generous hospitality of Thomas' aunt. A good blend of the old and the new, and unlike Osaka, Yokohama and Kobe, the
Shinkansen station and the main train station are one and the same. Believe me, after 7 days of rail travel you'll appreciate that detail.
Himeji: B. The castle is great--large, impressive, and picture-postcard perfect. But it needs more ninjas. Or at least the guides should be dressed up as samurai. Yes, I want Japan to demean its heritage and cater to the lowest common denominator--there, I said it. Now, rooms are supposedly cheap here, since everyone daytrips--it might be worth it to be based out of Himeji while exploring the Kobe / Kyoto / Nara / Osaka area.
Hiroshima: A. Anyone on the Japan Rail Pass should visit Hiroshima, for the history, for Miyajima, and for the Mazda factory tour (but for the love of God call a day in advance, which we didn't do :-P So we spent an hour playing driving simulators and leeching Mazda's internet access). And also for the birthplace of
okonomiyaki, the so-called Japanese pizza. It's Japanese "pizza" in the same way that I'm the Chinese Cary Grant.
Kobe: B+. Didn't see much of this town, focusing on the harbour area. But what I saw I really enjoyed, from the excellent shopping malls to the wedding church to the kids playing nighttime soccer without goalies (a high scoring affair, let me assure you). And of course the Home Depot-type store with a full range of garden accessories, interior decorations, and an ENORMOUS pet section with intensely exotic pets--who on earth keeps owls as pets? Why are they being sold at Japanese Home Depot?
Atami: C+. This town is well known to the Japanese for its many
onsen resorts. Otherwise it's sleepy and rather dull.
Shizuoka: A. Liked the layout of the city, liked the park in the center, had a great time at the Street Performers' World Fair and had the best
doner kebab I've ever had at that street fair. Might even be worth visiting outside of Daidogei, but I highly recommend going during Daidogei if possible.
Tokyo: C. Hardly saw any of Tokyo, but what I saw I didn't really care for. I'm guessing the reason everyone thinks Japan is mega-expensive is because of Tokyo, since the other cities we visited were merely expensive. Stayed in a three-tatami room (roughly the size of a walk-in closet) with communal lavatory for Y3000, or how much we each paid to share a twin in a 3-star hotel with its own internet PC (with 19" LCD to boot) in Yokohama. The other night in Tokyo was spent in an apartment of a nice elderly lady and some cockroaches--also about Y3000@. Coupled with the unwieldy mass transit (they could take a few lessons from Seoul) and the world's largest city was just meh, at least for travelers on a budget. I'm sure if you could afford to stay at the Park Hyatt, the hotel of Lost in Translation, Tokyo would be great. Lip my stockings.
Tokyo Motor Show: A+. It's biennial, and I'm already planning to go again next time. Maybe see Northern Japan while I'm at it.
Yokohama: B. Nice harbour area, but didn't have the cosy feel of Kobe's waterfront. It's basically a big suburb of Tokyo, and subject to the same inept mass transit. On the bright side, it's much cheaper to stay there, and it's the birthplace of Japanese curry. I made an interesting discovery, at the ripe old age of 30--I don't like ramen. I like instant ramen just fine, especially when I make it myself, but I don't like the fresh stuff. Too much salt, overcooked noodles, way too much liquid. I only found this out at the ramen museum when I had to face that this was the way ramen was supposed to be made--all the other times I've had "real" ramen I just assumed there was something wrong with the noodles.
Japan Rail Pass: A+++ Whether you're backpacking or filthy rich, there's no reason not to get this if you spend any time in Japan. The Shinkansen is more convenient than any air travel, and ten times more reliable. Actually, all trains and buses leave exactly on time in Japan.
Day 15: Kansai
I'm posting just before I board Air New Zealand flight 98 bound for Auckland--I spent much of yesterday in Yokohama, and visited the Ramen "museum" and Curry "museum". Will post a report card on Japan (similar to that for South Korea) as soon as I can. Final boarding...will post again soon.
Day 13: Tokyo
My head is still spinning, 4 hours after leaving the Tokyo Motor Show. The people! The cars! The girls! Most of all, the people! I had thought the street fair in Shizouka was crowded, but that was nothing compared to this：
Now, I'm not an automobile enthusiast. I like Subaru and I want a HUD (with speedometer, fuel gauge, GPS, distance to target, ammunition remaining, etc. )on my windshield...that's about it. That said, even I would need 3 days to fully explore the Tokyo Motor Show. I'll briefly sum up:
Most disappointing exhibit: Ferrari / Bentley / Bugatti. I don't want to see incremental improvements on a century-old design; in fact, this is one of the reasons I'm not that interested in cars. Neal Stephenson made the point that cars were designed in an age when the height of technology were gears and cranks, and the interface reflects this. A steering wheel? Manual shifting? Please. Trains aren't operated the same way they were in the 1900s, and cars shouldn't be either. Stephenson also makes the point that cars designed from scratch with a 21st century user interface would be no fun to drive. Clickety-clack IBM selectronic typewriters from the 60s may be more fun to type on than computers, but they're not better for word processing. Progress, people!
Best exhibit: I have to give major points to Daihatsu, which made up for umimpressive cars with a full scale musical extravaganza that went on for over half an hour. Honda also did well, with three interesting concept cars (a fuel cell car, a super sports car, and a minivan designed for families with dogs. The dog van had hardwood flooring and was probably the most impressive of all three).
Worst slogan: Kia Motors' "The Power to Surprise". I personally don't want to be surprised when my car fails to start, or bursts into flames, or what have you. Are there good surprises w/r/t cars?
Second worst slogan: Honda's "Feel Fine". Except Japanese don't seem to like "F". They like "H" much better. So in train stations I ask for "Inhormation" and the Honda people told us to "Heel Hine." Just strange.
Best picture of a Volkswagen Golf：
Most surprising booth at the auto show:
Best concept car: I'm biased, but it really was the Subaru TBH. Thomas also left thinking that would be the car to buy, were it available on the market. Pictures really don't do it justice. A sexy, fast, functional (note the hatchback) turbo hybrid--oh baby come to papa. Can you street-drive concept cars, or does the government not let you? I really don't understand why you'd buy a Rolls/Bentley if you could buy a concept car instead. Explain it to me.
Most prepared for Mad Max-style post-apocalyptic highway mayhem: Are those grenade launchers on this Yamaha?
Most popular pastime: Taking pictures of the race queens.
People (though not so much those guys^^) had SERIOUS cameras. Some of them might have been media, but at least half the folks were toting DSLRs. I wonder how many $1000 lenses got broken in the scrum.
Classiest ?? exhibitor: Nissan. I guess
Carlos Ghosn turned around Nissan by refusing to hire any spokesmodels at all.
Cutest race queen:
I didn't get any really good pictures of her, sorry. You would not
believe the number of people firing away. After 5 minutes she had to take a break and was escorted away by security. Probably a good idea.
Day 11: Tokyo
s
Okay, so their sense of shame only goes so far. (Er, that's a "No bicycle parking" blob in the middle there).
Day 9: Miyajima
Day 8: Himeji.
Day 7 and beyond...
Well, as expected I didn't really have extended internet access until today, which is what, Day...12? Wow. Time flies when you're having fun, and Japan is, lack of giant robots aside,
the best place on Earth*.
Part of the reason it's so great (as a tourist) is the
Japan Rail Pass, which allows unlimited travel on Japan's rail network for a week or three. Japan's railroads not only include the bullet trains, but many of their "locals" are the equivalent of light rail..I think I've used about USD1000 of travel on my $238 pass. While the Shinkansen bullet train is no maglev, it's still plenty quick, and actually goes somewhere. The flip side of that is that we've averaged 4 hours a day on the train.
Sorry, no terribly amusing anecdotes about Japan (to date). A big part of what makes Japan so nice is that everyone has an overdeveloped sense of shame. Invariably the loudest people in any environment are bound to be gaijin--in areas where there are no other gaijin, the loudest people will be Thomas and myself. People who get embarassed easily--move to Japan! I've never heard (and said) gomen nasai and sumimasen so much in my life. And they mean it! Not a snooty "excuse
me" with accompanying stare, no, it's head down, gomen ne, etc.
I am trying real hard to think of the last time I heard "dui bu qi", but all that comes to mind are the "lines" at subway stations and fast food restaurants...
Bart: Wow, my father an astronaut. I feel so full of...what's the opposite of shame?Marge: Pride?Bart: No, not _that_ far from shame.Homer: [quavering] Less shame?Bart: [happy] Yeah...*If you're rich. If you're poor but aspire to high living, I suppose China is all right. If you're homeless Hawaii is nice and warm year-round :P
Day 7: Kyoto. Johnnie Hillwalker
I think the Lonely Planet Kyoto guide is a complete waste of money. Now, it might be semi-useful if if it had worthwhile maps. I've seen better maps on placemats at McDonald's, let alone a guidebook you actually pay for. I can understand maybe not labeling each and every side street, but there are HUGE streets that go completely unlabeled. On a map that has 85 points of interest and covers over 2 square kilometers, they labeled...5 streets. Just in English, mind you, so that if you want to cross-check bus routes (in Japanese) you're out of luck.
But one thing I'll be grateful for Lonely Planet for is the recommendation of the "
Johnnie Hillwalker" walking tour of Kyoto. This is a fellow that's been doing tours for over 35 years now--he's now 75 and still leading 5-hour long walking tours every other day. Highly recommended, and did I mention he's 75? Go quickly.
Day 6: Kyoto. Engureeshu
I know just enough Japanese to be dangerous. For example, I can say: "Sumimasen, Demachiyanagi (or insert item here) wa doko desu ka?" in accented but fairly rapid Japanese. I know it's clear and understandable because I'll immediately receive a flood of Japanese in response. But...I can only transmit, I can't receive. The next thing I do after rattling off my memorized phrase is display a look of utter confusion and stupidity, and then they usually give up and point in the correct direction.
Thomas I think may have the right idea--he just goes straight for English, damn the consequences. Then it's the other guys who look confused, which is I guess preferable.
On the other hand...
Here's file footage of a park in China. I didn't try to take a picture of trash in these photos, mind you--it was just omnipresent in the background. Note to Chinese people:
This is why we can't have nice things.
Day 6: Kurama. Mr. Sparkle.
I'm at a loss to understand why Japanese culture is so much
better when it comes to hygiene. Korea isn't particularly clean--cigarette butts are casually thrown away, and the streets are a bit grungy. We all know about China. But in a heavily trafficked park area on a Sunday, with many vending machines and few wastebaskets, I saw NO trash collectors and NO litter. Nothing at all to mar the forest floor. No plastic bags, no plastic bottles, no candy wrappers, nada. Here's a picture of an area that a few
thousand people passed before me this morning.
Day 5: Kyoto
I have been spoiled rotten by Korea--prolific and cheap internet bars, a comprehensive subway system, and Armed Forces Network and the Starcraft channel. Japan has none of those things. In fact, I expect internet access will be difficult to find throughout this trip, which will make updates of this blog sporadic at best. There are very few internet cafes, although the ones that do exist are pretty amazing. You get good value for your $6 an hour :P
Also on the bright side, I know many more Japanese phrases than Korean ones. Some of these may be of limited utility, such as "beso wo kaku yo" (you'll be sorry one day) but some that are actually useful. Like "Takai!" (Expensive!) This simply has to be the most expensive country on earth. I had never seen a Y4000 10-ounce cut of beef in a supermarket, but I saw one today. I expect it was beer-fed and hand- massaged Kobe beef, but still...$35?
While in Japan, I'll be traveling with Thomas Hsu, and while in Kyoto, staying with his extended family. The itinerary will be: Kyoto-Nara-Himeji-Nikko-Tokyo-Atami-Yokohama-Kyoto and out. This pretty much covers the central part of Japan between Osaka and Tokyo, although we're giving Nagoya a pass.
More to come soon.
Day 4: Seoul. The Accidental Tourist.
Spurred on by reader feedback* to do something Seoul-related, rather than lie in bed and watch "Fight Club", "House", and "Under Siege" (I managed to do both, so ha-ha) I spent the last coupla days visiting quasi-famous tourist attractions, with the following results.
Changdeokgung Palace: A UNESCO world heritage site, but the parts you can see are pretty dull. Imagine the Summer Palace with a lot less flash, and smaller. Price: W3,000. Grade:
CKimchi Museum (located in the CoEx Mall, where I had incredible bibimbap with caramelized rice at the bottom of the bowl, plus kimchi gyoza--all in all a fantastic meal.) Oh, yes, the Kimchi museum. I was the only one there...never a good sign. I paid my W3000 and was in and out in 5 minutes. And I read EVERY exhibit. Here, I'll save you the trip: there are 137 varieties of kimchi, modern napa cabbage / red pepper kimchi gained popularity in the 1800s, kimchi prevents colon cancer. Hey, you're reading this on the internet, so it has to be true.
Grade:
FDMZ (3rd infiltration tunnel tour): This was a real tour, one that I called ahead to book.
(Deep sigh).
Well, let's just say that tours that end with a tour of "XX jewelry factory" aren't gonna be that great. You'd think I'd have learned that lesson from Honolulu a coupla years back, but no.
Okay, this is gonna save future visitors to Korea a lot of grief. The DMZ is huge--4 km wide and stretching across the entire 38th parallel. You don't want to see the DMZ. What you want to see are North Koreans, and you'll only see those at Panmunjeom. Not Freedom Bridge, not Dora Observatory, not Imjingak, not the 3rd tunnel, not any of that. If the guide doesn't tell you to wear nice clothing (supposedly the North Koreans are sensitive about ripped jeans and E. Normous Johnson t-shirts--I personally think it's just another way for the Man to push you around)--anyway, unless they tell you about clothing, you don't want to go on the tour. In fact, you should just book the USO tour, which I would have taken except they need 4 days notice, and 4 days ago I was trying to figure out if I needed more socks.
Price: W46,000. Holes in the ground entered: 1. Nice Filipino fellow tourists met: 2. North Koreans seen: 0. Amethyst jewelry factories visited: 1 (in layout identical to a coral jewelry factory in Honolulu, but without the stunning green-eyed Japanese/Caucasian greeter girl. So even more points off.) Grade:
DWar Memorial Museum:
I went in at 15:30. They started turning out the lights at 18:00, and I was only about two-thirds of the way done (and hadn't glanced at any of the outside exhibits yet). And this is even after skipping the animatronic recreations of battle scenes, since they were in Korean. Now, the thing is that Korea's been in a lot of wars--they've been invaded by China a coupla times, Japan a coupla times, North Korea after WWII, they sent troops to Vietnam, etc. So there's a lot to see. And they only cover the battles they won, so you're seeing roughly a quarter of their military history here :-P
Hmm, maybe Starcraft is the Korean equivalent of
America's Army--I'm sure that'll come in handy when we meet the Zerg.
Did you know that Korean patriots assassinated a Japanese prince in Harbin, and also almost got Hirohito in 1932? Did you know that at the start of the Korean War, South Korea had no tanks, while North Korea had over 400? Did you know that Americans got leaflets wishing them a "Happy New Year and a Merry Christmas" from "The Chinese People's Volunteers"? Did you know that just as in the movie Enemy at the Gates, the Chinese didn't have enough rifles, so they sent soldiers to the front with gongs (
GONGS) and hand grenades? You'll learn all this and more at your local library, or at the War Memorial Museum.
Price: W3000. Grade:
A. Grade for people not named Terry Gerard:
B+. Grade for people named Terry Gerard:
A++ (Proton Cannon!)
War Memorial Museum, Honor Guard Ceremony:
In Korea, just as in Taiwan and Singapore, military service is compulsory. Now, I don't know what the Taiwanese and Singaporeans do while they're serving, but I bet it's not guarding American military bases and acting as mobile tourist attractions. There is an astonishing number of police in Seoul--some carrying machine guns, some riot shields, almost all with truncheons. And all really young. The reason apparently is that you can serve as a military policeman during your two years, and what you do is stand outside the USO. Or stand outside other American bases. Or stand at the nonfunctional Pyongyang train tracks in Dora Station while tourists take pictures of and with you. Or give guided tours to tourists in English and Chinese while at Dora Observatory. Or--and this has to be one of the plum jobs, since you get to move around--you can perform at the Honor Guard ceremony every Friday at 14:00, with more sword / spear waving, rifle-twirling, and parade marching than you can shake a stick at.
Price: Free. Grade:
A.
*Yes, I am aware that the comments section isn't working on the new posts. I would love to fix it, but I don't imagine the situation will improve in Japan :-P They should be fixed in New Zealand.
